Submitted By: Elizabeth Gatherer; Houghton, MI; Family Plan Member since 2020
Let me just start by taking a huge sigh of relief…. *Ahhhhhh*..
Getting engaged is so exciting. The butterflies in your stomach start flapping with full wing-speed, and somehow, one finger all of a sudden gains a big enough fanbase to have its own Instagram account. It’s wonderful and crazy and the whole year is spent ogling your future Mr. or Mrs. like when you first met. However.. I can honestly say that I am grateful that the planning, financing, and “helpful” suggestions from family are behind me.
Don’t get me wrong, the venue was beautiful, and this newly-wed love is just radiating out of me! But if you want the truth, no advice in the world really prepares you for getting married. For example, there is the classic, “Things will go wrong, but odds are, no one will notice.”…. No one will notice, aye? How about when one of the groomsmen is forty-five minutes late to the ceremony? Or when one of the bridesmaids has the wrong color dress? Or when the power goes out five minutes after dinner is served? Well, I hate to burst the bubble on this nugget of advice, but…. They noticed. Or how about, “The day isn’t about anyone else, it’s about the love being shared between you and your spouse.” You can just hear the soft, romanticized, cheesy voice in that last sentence, can’t you? Now, although this statement isn’t entirely wrong, it’s not 100% accurate either. Yes, the day is all about you and your spouse, and if anyone is gonna make a fuss, it should be from the stereotypical “Bride-zilla”. Well, that isn’t always the case. You may have a mom-zilla, the dreaded mother-in-law-zilla, or you may have the down-right annoying bridesmaid-zilla.
What is one to do in this sort of 24-hour long debacle? Well, I’m here to give you my advice..
Did one of the bridesmaids accidentally order the wrong color dress? Drink some wine. Preferably that in the ‘white’ variety; besides, it’s only fitting for the occasion. Some Riesling will do the trick. You needed a “something blue” anyways, right?
Is the groomsman still late and you are spiraling as to whether or not you will sweat off all this makeup that took an hour to put on? Pour some Albariño.
Did the pastor finally pronounce you “husband and wife” and you are about to take the limo for a spin? Then pop that Viognier & Chenin Blanc, Mrs!
Are one of your bridesmaids rolling their eyes and finding something to complain about seemingly every half hour on your big day? Open up that bottle of Oktoberfest that has just the perfect blend of Girls-Are-Meaner. I mean, Gewurztraminer! Whoops!
Have you finally received your dinner and the power just went out? What’s that?? It’s not just the power, it’s the plumbing system too?!… *Facepalm* “Oh goodness gracious…” Better pour a glass of Orange Muscat… and make it a generous pour.
… Has the day gone by so fast that you are now exhausted and eating leftover cake in your wedding dress? Pour yourself, and your husband, a glass of Zinfandel Port.
Now listen closely, because this next bit of advice is just as critical… Laugh about all those moments that went wrong today, no matter how bizarre they seemed. Find pride and amazement in the amount of empty wine bottles that the wedding party helped devour. Remember the love and support that you felt from your friends and family as they circled the dance floor around you both tonight. Yeah, wine helped you get through the day, but now you both have each other to help get through the rest of life.
… But maybe have an extra bottle of Chardonnay on standby just in case!